Seven years ago, when we started doing CrimethInc. mailorder on the west coast, we did it from the couch, balancing the packages on our laps as we taped them shut. Next came an end table, then a coffee table, then a desk, then two desks, then an actual work table, and then three work tables. However, even back when we were making our move up to a coffee table, we dreamed of one day building the Ultimate Mail Order Table. It’s a dream we’ve been chasing for many years, and at times it seemed unreachable—but last week, we cleared out the mailorder room and started work, emerging victorious six long days later.

We made the base with our tried and true 2x4 style of carpentry, which included 8 4x4 legs, totally overkill and totally sweet.

Never underestimate the value of a good miter saw.

Check out that clamp action down there.

Table completed, sturdy enough to land a helicopter on.

With the addition of the trim, we’ve officially graduated out of 2x4 carpentry and into embellished 2x4 style.

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Construction is finished, now time for staining and a delightful three coats of poly on the working surfaces.

Finished.

Twelve feet long, five and a half feet wide and both sitting and standing height working surfaces—made to order.

Bridger likes a cord-free floor, so we attached the powerstrips to the bottom of the table.

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Mail. Order. Bliss. For everyone¹ who gets a package in the next few months, know we had extra fun putting it together on the table we made.